Books on Dementia, Memory Loss and Alzheimer’s for Kids

Books On Dementia, Memory Loss & Alzheimer's for Kids

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My husband and I were caregivers to elderly parents for over three years, one with dementia and Parkinson’s.  It was a time of stretching for sure – all the while parenting four children, one of them a baby at the time.  Grandma has since passed on (click here to see the book list on death, dying and loss that I gathered during that time). Having lived with a grandfather with dementia for many years myself, the concept wasn’t foreign, but with the roles reversed and it being my once strong parent, it was quite a different experience all together.  My parent now lives across the country with other siblings overseeing his care.  Week by week I hear him declining and I know one day he will no longer know me.

Recently we made a visit to see Grandpa, now living in a nursing home. Some days he remembered us, others he seemed confused by all that was going on. Prior to our visit, I prepared my five and eight-year-old by reading many of these stories. Others they read on their own. Through it all, we talked about loving Grandpa, showing him we were glad to be with him (smiling, holding his hand, telling him we loved him…) – even when it felt confusing or made us feel strange inside.

My littles were AMAZING! My youngest spent the whole first day with her eyes steadfast on his and a sweet smile on her face. My son knew to look straight at Grandpa and smile whenever he looked over or said his name. It was a week we will always hold dear!

I am so very grateful for authors (and illustrators) who were brave enough to tackle this hard topic. My children were able to handle the “hard reality” as they had encountered other kids who had similar stories to theirs.

I have READ each one of these books myself; with each review listed below.  If I thought a resource was not worth being on the list, I did not include it.  IF you have an awesome resource not listed, PLEASE comment below to share with us.  When I review any additional books I deem worthy of being on this list, I will add them; meaning this is a working and growing resource. 

When you yourself or someone you know is in need of resources for children, please send them here to check out these books (most of these I was able to get at my public library).  I know in this season, it sometimes seems unbearable to do research to find great resources. 

If you find yourself in a season of imminent loss, I hope this list will make the “resource finding” less daunting.  

The Remember Balloons – This is a powerful story!  James equates his memories to balloons, the older you are the more balloons you have.  Each balloons carries a beautiful memory.  James and Grandpa each have a silver balloon that holds a favorite shared memory – catching a “thousand” fish sitting on the dock together.  “But Grandpa has been having problems with his balloons lately. One will get caught in a tree, and he’ll tell me the same story over and over.”  Sometimes a balloons will just float away and Grandpa doesn’t even know.  When it seems like James might actually be able to catch it, each one slips away at the last second.  His parents say that older people sometimes can’t hold all their balloons anymore.  The floating away happens faster, until he finally loses the silver one. “Why did you let it go?  That was our balloon!”  James sobs.  One day all his balloons are gone, but my parents say to look up and see that all Grandpa’s “lost” balloons are now in his hand for him to share.  “So I climb into Grandpa’s lap and begin telling him about my new balloons. 

Newspaper Hats – What a precious story.  Georgie is anxious that Grandpa won’t remember her when they visit.  As she continues to press him as to whether he remembers her, they find something they both love – making paper hats.  They fold and fold and fold, making paper hats enough for them as well as others.  When a paper hat blows away in the wind, Georgie reassures him that they can make another.  “Yes,” said Grandpa. “I remember how.”  This sweet book is full of hope, life, and staying present. 

My Little Grandmother Often Forgets – This is a sweet story of a grandmother who forgets many thing including Tom’s name.  Young Tom finds a way to stay present and enjoy his grandma, even when she often forgets. 

Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge – Wilfrid lives next to a home where many older people live.  When he hears that his favorite friend Miss Nancy has lost her memory, he goes on a quest of asking questions, to find out what that means.  When he has some understanding, he takes objects to help her remember.  In that moment, the two of them find meaning and memories to share, including the day Miss Nancy met Wilfrid. 

Lovely Old Lion –  Grandpa is forgetting, forgets Lenny’s name, forgets the time of day, throws things away that don’t belong…  But he is still grandpa.  “But not so clever now, not so kingly, and sometimes not so kind.”  Sometimes he sings the same song over and over and the other jungle animals don’t understand.  “He’s getting old and bits of him are wearing out.  His brain isn’t working as well…he keeps forgetting things.”  They decide to help, bringing things that remind him of his childhood, sharing pictures and memories.  In a lucid moment, the king lion passes his crown to Lenny – who will one day be king himself.  When Lenny becomes king, he remembers his grandpa and reminds other young animals to be kind and help the older ones remember. 

 

Little Mama Forgets – Sweet Lucy’s grandma – “Little Mama – is forgetful and Lucy serves her as the “bigger” of the two and as her memory.  Lucy shares how Little Mama forgets many things but then others she remembers (she to wake up, how to tie her shoes, to look both ways at the street corner, how to brush her teeth) – like how much cream she likes on her rice pudding,  how to put on her dancing shoes,  how to make tortillas or how to kiss her goodnight.

My New Granny – Fini remembers the way Granny used to be – comments on her hairstyle, feeding ducks together and her wonderful, exotic cooking.  When Granny came back from the hospital, she was changed.  She liked Fini’s hair, liked eating the duck food and used the stove burners to warm her hands.  Granny lives with her family now and everyone keeps an eye on her.  Then the honest question – “Why do I have to take care of Granny?  She should take care of herself!”  A caregiver starts the next day.  But there are still things that are just for Fini and Granny.

 

What’s Happening to Grandpa? – This is a beautiful, gentle book – and at the same time completely honest.  Kate LOVES her grandparents and feels so lucky to have ones who are so invested.  “Grandpa…was a character.  He didn’t talk to angels – he talked to God.”  Kate shares all her specific memories of each grandparent she loves so dearly.  Over time Kate realizes something is really wrong with Grandpa.  He forgets stuff, repeats stories over and over and forgets what he has done.  Then an interchange is observed as Grandma has to tell Grandpa he isn’t allowed to drive anymore.  Kate’s mother rushes in to comfort Grandma after her lashing from Grandpa.  Kate asks, “What’s happening to Grandpa?”  Mom and Grandma tell her that Grandpa has Alzheimer’s.  They explain her and then as only a child could, asks what can they do?  We “keep loving and respecting Grandpa the way we always have.  We’re going to have to be more patient and more understanding.  It’s going to be hard.”  They talk about how to do this when he asks the same question over and over, or forgets to remember things.  They also talk about a time coming when even memories from the past will be gone. 

The book walks you through Kate’s grieving process, all while Grandpa is still alive – the loss of what she once loved and cherished about Grandpa.  After talking with her friends, Kate gets a sudden idea.  She decides to make a scrapbook with Grandpa and listens as he shares memories of each picture.  She hopes that the book will help Grandpa as he forgets thing.  Grandpa finds ways to comfort Kate through this.  “…(T)he important memories of my life will forever be in my heart…  I’m the luckiest man of Earth.”  He talked to Kate about how grateful he was for the life God had given him. 

Resources for families affected by Alzheimer’s are listed at the back of the book.

Dad’s Camera – One day Dad comes home with one of those old-school cameras, the kind with film. And he starts taking pictures – of everything except for his family. He is becoming more and more forgetful, doing things that don’t make sense. He takes pictures of things he doesn’t want to forget and starts sticking them to their picture window. Roll after roll. And still, no pictures of his family. It makes them upset. One day he comes home without the camera – maybe he forgot. One day, he is gone. Soon after, a box comes in the mail with dad’s old camera inside. When they take it to get developed, they find it has only one picture on the film. His family. “And now we see. And now we know. Dad took photos of the things he wanted us to remember…about him.”

Forget Me Not – A little girl remembers all the things she loved about grandma. “But ever so slowly, like a low tide leaving the bay, a change came along. Grandma was becoming more and more forgetful… We would joke…she liked to scramble our names for breakfast instead of eggs. And she’d laugh as much as we did.” She’d forget names, shared memories, where she’d park… She changed so quickly. She’d become repetitive in what she said, became paranoid, and other times was a danger to herself and others. Once, she was found out in the cold with nothing but her nightie on. It became time to move her from the home she loved into a place where others could keep a watchful eye on her. This beautiful book goes through the young girl’s processing, grieving for what once was and finding ways to see joy and hope in “today”.

The Day Abuelo Got Lost – Abuelo always lived with his family. He and his grandson shared every afternoon together. One day abuelo starts losing his ability to do certain things. Each new thing forgotten lends way to doing something a new way. One day abuelo goes missing. When they finally find him, they decide to find him someplace safe to go during the day. The family shows how they help abuelo cope in his decline. “Luis, Abuelo will have more and more trouble remembering things and recognizing people, maybe even you, but he will always be able to feel our love.”

Remember, Grandma? – One day a little girl hears that Grandma will lose her remembering, that she will forget even our names. “He is wrong.” Even when I have to help her reading words, words she once read to me. Grandma forgets the cat and even the music I am playing. She forgets the name of her favorite flower. She calls the apples pears when we go to make her favorite pie, but remembers that the ones that are bruised are the sweetest. Soon, she forgets the way home and even which one belongs to us. But. The. Day. She. Forgets. Me… Mom tells me Grandma still loves me even when she is all mixed up. “One day, Grandma leaves for a  week” so we can have a break. We makes lots of noise, have friends over and eat all the food Grandma hates. She knows me when she comes home, “You are my sweetness. The one who brings me flowers and plays the piano. You are my apple-cheeked bruise girl.” As I realize she has remembered all the things that are her favorites, I reintroduce myself and say, “I am your remembering.” Beautiful story!

 

Always My Grandpa: a Story for Children About Alzheimer’s Disease – This is a longer story, if you are looking for such, or for an older reader. Every summer, Daniel and his mother visit Grandpa at the beach. Daniel loves those visits. One summer they go to visit and mom tells him that Grandpa will not be the same. He was told that he has Alzheimer’s disease, and that he will be forgetting things. Daniel cannot imagine how Grandpa might one day even forget him. “There is no way Grandpa will ever forget us. I won’t let him!”

When they arrive, things seems just like normal. Grandpa and Daniel play catch, Grandpa tells all the stories Daniel loves. But as the days carry on, Daniel watches as Grandpa loses things and forgets things. Grandpa acknowledges to Daniel what is happening to him, and apologizes that things will change. “I want you to know that when I don’t seem like myself, or when I’m acting in a way that seems strange or confusing to you, I still love you. I want you to remember that.”

One day, Daniel and Mom return from a walk on the beach, to find Grandpa missing and a burning pan on the stove. When they find him, Mom yells at him. Grandpa responds with fear, not knowing who they are. They rush over and help him calm down.

Mom remains present with Daniel, allowing him space to process and ask questions.

One day Grandpa forgets Daniel’s best friend at the beach. It shakes him up, causing him to respond in anger. Mom helps him to understand that his anger comes from worry and simply being upset by the reality.

Grandpa comes home with them at the end of the summer. They will care for him as long as they are able. And they hope that next summer will still find them at the beach home.

Finding Grandma’s Memories – This is a sweet written quite simply for younger children. Grandma is starting to forget things. She sometimes forgets my name, where she put her glasses or to turn off the water. “I hope Grandma will always remember our teatime. But it’s okay is she forgets. Because I can remind her about our stories.”

What a Beautiful Morning – Grandpa and Noah had a special relationship! They liked to live life big and loud. One year, things start to change. Grandpa forgets to ask about our plans for the day or how to cut his French toast. He even woke from a nap and didn’t know who I was. (As Grandpa changes, parts of the story begin to lose color – it is a powerful visual.) “Grandpa knows you. He just gets confused, that’s all. So we have to appreciate what he still has, not focus on what he’s lost.” Noah learned that the best way to connect with Grandpa was with song. Even when he was “lost”, it seemed to help “right” him for the moment. This is a BEAUTIFUL story!

Fireflies, Peach Pies and Lullabies – Great-Granny Annabel has lost her memory. “it’s like she’s nothing but an empty shell nowadays.” Francie overhears all this and sits confused in her thoughts. That’s not how she sees Great-Granny. “Worst part is, this is how everyone will remember her…All the good thoughts gone, like an ocean wave just whooshed in and washed all the memories away.” Francie is trying to reconcile everything, when suddenly Great Granny is gone. Grief, anger… Francie curled up Great-Granny’s things, falls asleep and dreams all the wonderful things she remembered about her.

At the viewing, she watched people cry. She watched them laugh. “Were they remembering different too?” Then, a sudden idea came to her. She borrowed paper and a pen and went around to the guests, asking them to write down a favorite memory. It made her feel are “summery-warm.”

The next day at the funeral, the priest took Francie’s list and “read the memories one by one…Soon the church was buzzing like a hive full of bees while sweet golden memories spilled over the pews and into the aisles.”

This book will fill your heart. And offers a great opportunity to share “your own” precious memories of your lost loved one.

The Memory Box – A little girl worries that love can “fly away”.  “Sometimes I wonder what happens to your love now that you’re gone.  Did it die too?”  She doesn’t want to forget.  So she makes a Memory Box full of memories of when “they” were together.  She adds pictures of places her loved one went so she can visit them one day too.  She asks others of their memories to add those to the box as well.  She doesn’t want to miss a thing.  It helps her think of her loved one even doing things they were supposed to do together.  She even shares her new memories as she remembers the old.  “I was afraid I would forget you. But I won’t.”  I love this idea of creating a memory box with your child.  There is added part at the end of the book on “Helping Children Process Grief”.  

Older kids, but I have not read:

Just Like Jackie (grandpa is losing his memory)

The Space Between Lost and Found (mom is losing her memory)

And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer (grandpa is losing his memory and sometimes forgets Robbie’s name)

Sticky Notes

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