Books On Death, Loss & Grief for Kids

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I began to read books about loss to my children prior to telling them that their grandma was dying. Grandma lived with us and did everyday with us. When my young children went “missing” in the house, I knew I only had to go to Grandma’s room to find them.

We anticipated the day, so we spent many hours talking about heaven and where one goes when they die. We read books about loss before I shared with them what was happening with Grandma. It gave them space to ask questions and choose when to be close. When Grandma passed – we were able to access all the conversations we had been having for weeks. We talked about heaven and our connection with her even with her being gone. We created a memory board together and then bought balloons so each one could say what they wanted to send the message up to her (two years later, my littles still want to send every balloon to her). My youngest ones were 3 and 5 at the time. They hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye, as I found her suddenly one morning, when we still thought we had time. Our favorite book in that season (and a topic that still comes up today) was The Invisible String.

I don’t know if it was their age, their preparation (I know not everyone has this opportunity) and/or our faith…but the whole process was hard but beautiful. Because my little ones saw her every day, I imagine it somehow made it easier as they could tell how sick she was and how much she was sleeping. The loss did not surprise them and they were able to imagine the joy of heaven and being with Jesus.

Even today, two years later, they are able to see more clearly the joy of heaven, rather than the loss of here.

I have READ each one of these books myself; with each review listed below. If I thought a resource was not worth being on the list, I did not include it. IF you have an awesome resource not listed, PLEASE comment below to share with us. When I review any additional books I deem worthy of being on this list, I will add them; meaning this is a working and growing resource.

When you yourself or someone you know is in need of resources for children, please send them here to check out these books (most of these I was able to get at my public library). I know in the season of loss, it is near impossible to do research to find great resources. I did research when we knew the time was coming, but still felt I found inadequate resources. It is only now, two years later, that I was able to devote countless hours to creating a resource list that is more complete than I was able to find in our own season of loss; many of which I wish I had known about when we experienced our own loss.

If you find yourself in a season of grieving or in a season of preparation, I hope this list will make the “resource finding” less daunting.

Disclaimer: I have tried to be as complete in my descriptions as needed, but please do read any book, especially about this topic, prior to reading it to your own children. I would hate for you (or your children) to be surprised by a topic you weren’t ready to discuss or a certain explanation you disagree with.

I am a follower of Jesus and want to impart our beliefs about heaven and Jesus to my children. I have included many Christian books, but also many others that would be helpful to children experiencing loss. I DID choose to leave off the list those that would place doubts in my children’s hearts or are contrary to our beliefs as a family. If I included one that did fall into one of these categories, it was because I felt there was enough value to do so (with disclaimers listed in those particular descriptions).

My favorites are marked and listed in the top of each section (marked at end by “A FAVORITE”) – In Preparation, General Loss, Loss of a Parent, Loss of a Grandparent, Loss of a Pet.

IN PREPARATION

When you anticipate the time is coming, some of us choose to talk to our children about the days coming ahead. The following books can be read together with your loved one, or with a parent. All of these are also appropriate after a loss.

Ida Always – What a sweet book about two bears who were best friends at the zoo. One day the zookeeper comes to tell Gus that his friend is very sick and won’t be getting better, that one day her body will stop working and she will die. Gus growls in his anger, Ida growls back. Then they snuggle and share thoughts and memories. Ida was well cared for in the days ahead, often staying in her cave, but Gus found ways to help and be close by. Sometimes they growled, sometimes laughed, sometimes snuggled up close, and sometimes they took moments to be alone. And after Ida breathes her last, Gus finds ways to keep her right there as he still sees life with the memory of her by his side. Ages: 4-8. A FAVORITE.

Maybe Dying is like Becoming a Butterfly – The best part of this book is the reflection at the end that Christopher writes to his grandpa that maybe dying is like changing into a butterfly. The whole book is beautiful. But, it could create doubt and questions about what happens when we are gone. Grandpa and Christopher have a sweet conversation about what is dying, when will we die, and is it scary. They talk about living a wonderful life right now rather than waiting right before we die. It does not hide from the fact that some could die when they are young, though hopefully not. Grandpa says that no one really knows what happens when we die, but that we can each have our own thoughts. He talks about heaven, but he also talks about how some people believe you will come back to Earth or that there is nothing. Use discretion in choosing this book. If you don’t have readers (and read through it on your own first) I think this is a beautiful book, but I would leave out a few sentences that could create doubt. OR, maybe it presents a great opportunity to talk about what others believe and then remind them of what we KNOW. Heaven IS real and what a beautiful analogy in the butterfly! A FAVORITE.

Heaven is for Real for Kids – Colton had an experience when he was four, in which he went and visited heaven. Jesus REALLY loves children and so much of his experience points to that. Heaven is AMAZING, everyone is happy, there are lots of people to meet – some you’ve read about and some that are family, you won’t ever get bored and the things in the Bible are all really true. You will live forever with God and in the now, Holy Spirit will help you to pray (for those you know are hurting). “The most important thing Jesus told me was how to get to heaven. He said to believe in Him and follow Him.” I LOVE this book and cannot recommend it enough. I often give out Heaven is for Real to adults who have experienced loss (specifically miscarriage as Colton’s experience was so specific and he was never told about this by his parents). I love that this is a child’s story! A FAVORITE.

The Invisible String – I love this sweet book! It is perfect for any child who gets anxious of leaving their parents, as well as those who are in the process of, or have lost a loved one. When my mother died a couple of years ago, this was the one my youngest two talked about again and again. They could totally grasp the idea of always being connected to someone because of your love. “Can my string reach all the way to Uncle Brian in Heaven?” Yes. The string (of connection) never goes away as long as there is love in your heart. You are never alone. A FAVORITE.

What is Heaven Like? – A brother and sister miss Grandpa and wonder about heaven. Before he died, Grandpa made a promise, “Don’t be too sad. We’ll see each other again someday.” But all their questions were left unanswered in his death. The young boy begins to ask a question to many of those in his life, “What’s heaven like?” He hears about streets of gold, more fun than you can imagine without ever getting tired, joyful noise, every good food, animals of all kinds… When he gets home and tells his mom, she reminds him that he can come anytime to ask her or dad these questions. “We can look in the Bible for answers, too. What would you like to know about heaven?” They talk through his questions. “I felt real happy for Grandpa but awful sad for me.” Grandma and her grandson imagine what Grandpa must be doing in heaven. “I’m sure being that close to our heavenly Father is like opening a special present every single day.” And then Grandma shares with James how he can be sure he will go to heaven when he dies. She shares about Jesus’ love for us and His sacrifice on the cross to pay the ransom for our sins. She also explains that we each have a choice to love God back. This is a beautiful book full of scripture, promise, hope and truth! A FAVORITE.

Old Pig – This is a beautiful book of one preparing before they leave this world. It brought me to tears. Granddaughter and Old Pig have lived together for a long time. They have a rhythm in what things Old Pig does and what things Granddaughter does. One day Old Pig doesn’t get out of bed and sleeps through the day. They next day she gets up, eats a few bites and then goes off to get prepared. Granddaughter already knows for what and “it made her feel like crying inside”. Old Pig returned her library books, closed out her bank account and paid all her bills. Then, together the two go on a slow walk around town “looking, listening, smelling and tasting.” The last night, Granddaughter does all the things with Old Pig that comforted her when she was smaller. I absolutely loved this book! A FAVORITE.

A Travel Guide to Heaven for Kids – This is a sweet book in which little Joey wants to know more about heaven. In his dreams, “a guardian angel” comes to take him for a visit to help him understand. There is music, smiles, laughter and much celebration! “…They know that they will never again be separated, never again be sick, never again be sad or cry – and they will be able to live here together in heaven forever and ever.” There is talk about an amusement park, cotton candy…maybe. But it’s the “best part of heaven” that makes this book so special. They come to a light that is the most beautiful thing in the world – the place where God lives and where one day you too will meet Him face-to-face. “He created heaven so that all of us who love Him could be happy. And this is His home…They leave…to come live in God’s home – heaven!” A FAVORITE.

God Gave Us Heaven – All of these polar bear books by Lisa Tawn Bergren are so sweet and full of truth! The whole book is a conversation between Papa and his cub. Heaven is the most wonderful place ever. One day we each will go there when we die; hopefully when we are older and have lived a long life, but some see it sooner than others – when they get sick or bad things happen. No tears, sadness or pain. Exploration, feasting, worship…full of the things we love the most. We won’t need anything there – it will all be provided for us. Little Cub asks how we get to heaven. Papa shares God’s great love for us. “…He sent his very own Song, Jesus, to be our bridge. All we have to do is walk across it to head toward our forever home.” I highly recommend this one! A FAVORITE.

When I’m With Jesus: For Any Child with a Loved One in Heaven – Written by a mom who didn’t know if she’d get see her children grow and wanted to make sure they knew where she was if she went. This book is written with a younger audience, as well as an older audience – allowing you to read the parts you feel your child is able to relate to and understand. This book is all about heaven and the rejoicing one feels when they see Jesus for the first time. She talks about who will be there and the character of God. She explains that her love for her children will be forever, even when she is gone. She shares the many emotions children will feel and who to talk to (talk to Jesus). She wants her children to be happy again and gives them freedom to do that. She shares her desire to still be there and watch over those big moments of life, if God will allow it. She also reminds the child that she will be there waiting, with open arms, when they too come to meet Jesus. Until then, she asks her children to live for the Lord and to KNOW they are always loved! There is scripture listed at the end of the book, to learn more about heaven. The Gospel is also presented, inviting the reader to become a part of God’s family. Ages: 4-10. A FAVORITE.

Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You – What a sweet book recounting how no matter where we are, our love will always find a way to those we love. Feel it in the wind, play, dance until you’re dizzy, in the smells of the air, in the clouds… ”You are loved. You are loved. You are loved.” “You are my angel, my darling, my star…and my love will find you, wherever you are.” A FAVORITE.

Aunt Fanny’s Star – Great Aunt Fanny comes to live with her bunny family. She is older and needs help to care for herself properly. Children have to move rooms to make space for her. When she comes, there is less space, and less time from Mama – as she needs to help care for Aunt Fanny. Even in all of that, Aunt Fanny always has time to play. At night, she would go out to greet the stars. “One day I will fly there.” Soon she was in a wheelchair and laughed that it would be easier to fly away. When asked if she still liked the family, “Of course I do, but at some point, each of us must go elsewhere – to that place where we were before we were born. It is where we return to when we die.” She then shared her treasures with the precious little bunnies, after recounts of stories. She became frailer and had to stay in bed. One morning she would found passed away in her bed. The bunnies all wept until they wouldn’t weep anymore, even Papa. She was washed and dressed one last time and laid in a wooden box. Each child added something beautiful before the lid was closed. When asked whether Aunt Fanny would be cold and frightened in the ground, “No, not at all. That’s only the tired old body that Aunt Fanny no longer needs. She is already somewhere else…” And the knew, they only need look up to the stars in the sky. A FAVORITE.

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf – This book would be helpful when one is in the process of dying or watching someone else die. It relates to a leaf and that everything will one day die; it’s just part of life. This is a beautiful, gentle story of life. While this book does not acknowledge heaven, it does lend to an opportunity to talk about it. “Where will we go when we die? No one knows for sure. That’s the great mystery.” Ages: 4-8.

Lasting Love – “A parent’s love is forever.” This is a sweet, short story written by a mama who was told she would not live to see her children grow. The love of a parent who is dying (in this case a mama) is still very much alive and breathes life into the ones she loves. In this book, the essence of her love is transferred to a “creature” who carries her strength while dying and even after she is gone. Ages: 3-8.

A Story for Hippo – This is a sweet story of the friendship between a monkey and a hippo. As hippo slows down and knows her death is imminent, she begins to prepare her sweet friend. “Everyone must die someday, Monkey. Nobody knows how to live forever…” Hippo shares how she’s had the best life and how Monkey will make new friends. They promise to never forget one another. After Hippo does, Monkey mourns. The jungle grows quiet. Until one day, a chameleon invites Monkey to tell a story, hippo’s stories that are now his to share. Monkey finds friendship with a new friend and their shared memories of hippo, making new memories of their own. Ages: 4-8.

Grandma Lives in a Perfume Village – Grandma is sick and dying but Xiao Le and his mom go to visit her. He is scared to go up to her when he sees her lying in bed. He keeps calling for mom when Grandma needs something until mom asks Xiao Le to help her take the medicine. A cat visiting grandma on the bed is a moment where she is able to reach out to him and ask her grandson to come pet the cat. The cat makes it “safe” to come closer and then talk and connect. They also go outside together for a short bit and play a game pulling a wood sorrel apart, until grandma gets too tired. That is the last time Xiao Le sees grandma. “Grandma has left Perfume Village and moved into heaven.” The sweet boy makes all sorts of connections in the days ahead – “Grandma, don’t wash your clothes! Water is dripping!” This is a sweet, gentle book. It introduces the idea of heaven, giving ample space for you to talk with your child about what comes after death.

When Aunt Mattie Got Her Wings – This book is about an aunt (chicken) who is dying. She is old and has lived a good life. Now she is ready to go and make space for someone else. She waits until Lottie arrives, so she can say goodbye. She comments that “they” are waiting for her, calling for her. Herbie is too late, but they are able to grieve together. Was it the gate of heaven or something more like an airport? They don’t know. Aunt Mattie leaves them a letter and asks them to spread her ashes. The cousin chickens grieve. “Maybe our hearts ache because Aunt Mattie is moving into them.” There are many memories shared in this book – of times spent together. They spread Aunt Mattie’s ashes together (Lottie & Herbie).

Rudi’s Pond – A little girl processes the loss of her best friend. Rudi was a neighborhood friend who she spent a lot of time with and shared many memories together. Even though Rudi was sick a lot, they still did lots of things together. One day her mom tells her Rudi has been taken to the hospital is “sinking”. He spent a long time in the hospital with only his parents being allowed to visit. Her class sent cards and a “Get Well” banner. She never got to talk to him again; he died. In her processing, she was allowed to sleep in bed with her parents, wrote poems and drew pictures. Her school built a pond in Rudi’s memory, near a tree the two used to climb. She thinks maybe the hummingbird that visits the feeder might be her friend – it gives her comfort and reminds her of her friend.

Badger’s Parting Gifts – Badger is old and knows he will die soon. He wasn’t afraid, but he was worried about how his friends would feel when he was gone. He decides to prepare them – telling them about the day he will go down a long tunnel and that he hopes they won’t be sad for long. One day he falls asleep in his chair and goes down the long tunnel in his strong body. All winter long the animals felt a blanket of sadness for their loss. As they gathered one day, one by one the recounted a memory of Badger and things he had specifically taught each one. As the spring came, each animal felt their sadness melting away. Now the mention of his name brought happiness as they recounted more stories.

Heaven for Kids – this book is appropriate as a resource for you the parent as well as older kids (mid elementary and above). Randy Alcorn answers all sorts of questions kids might have about heaven.

That Summer – Brothers. And then one day Joey got sick. “When Joey perked up, hope fluttered inside us…but it stilled when Joey turned worse.” Joey was leaving this world. He cried, but his brother (the author) went in and cried with him. Joey joined Gram in making a quilt when he couldn’t sleep. He patched it with things he loved. The brothers spent the summer connecting, make memories, laughing and being silly. Joey asked Gram who would care for him when he died. “God will.” “Joey quilted what he thought was God” – his favorite dog. When Joey was gone, his brother finished the quilt, stitching in one of the last shared memories. This story will bring you to tears.

General Loss

Where Do People Go When They Die? – What a sweet treasure of a book, that is rich but very simple in nature. This book includes various answers to “Where do people go when they die?” They become part of the earth, go to heaven, become part of our memories, live on in our lives, go to God. There are tips and suggestions at the end of the book, which I thought were excellent – only answer what they have asked and don’t give more than they are ready for, consider yourself the best mentor for your children and not always resort to someone who “knows better”, how to help them process and when to seek professional help. A FAVORITE.

Rabbityness – This is not only a book for losing a pet. This sweet book talks about a rabbit who likes to do all sorts of rabbity things. He also likes painting and making music – making the woods come alive with color and music! This enthusiasm infects others and they too catch his happiness. And then one day, he is gone. And the world becomes dark and grey. Until the other rabbits find Rabbit’s “gifts” to make color and music – and soon unrabbity things flourish in the woods again, helping them remember Rabbit AND making them happy! A FAVORITE.

The Memory Box – A little girl worries that love can “fly away”. “Sometimes I wonder what happens to your love now that you’re gone. Did it die too?” She doesn’t want to forget. So she makes a Memory Box full of memories of when “they” were together. She adds pictures of places her loved one went so she can visit them one day too. She asks others of their memories to add those to the box as well. She doesn’t want to miss a thing. It helps her think of her loved one even doing things they were supposed to do together. She even shares her new memories as she remembers the old. “I was afraid I would forget you. But I won’t.” I love this idea of creating a memory box with your child. There is added part at the end of the book on “Helping Children Process Grief”. A FAVORITE.

The Goodbye Book – Have you ever judged a book by its cover? I did with this one, not imagining this could be anything more than a simple board book. This was such a sweet book and perfect for young kids! Todd Parr does a wonderful job labeling so many feelings for kids to identity with (sad, mad, up and down…). I really like it for this. Age: 3-6. A FAVORITE.

One Wave at a Time – I LOVED this book! Kai shares the story of how once there were four and now there are three. His dad is gone. And his grief comes like waves at the sea. Often he hides under his bed during the waves. Other times they crash in anger or fear…or no waves at all, just flatness, like a robot. There are happy waves too. Kai and his family join a support group, a place where they can talk, play and share what they miss. These strangers become friends to help ride the waves. Kai creates a “grief first aid kit”, a memory box, and learns techniques to connect and be quiet. Mom, Kai and Ben find a chair that they paint for special days, a chair to remember Dad in. I love the ideas shared in this book. There is an author note included at the end, as well as grief support resources. A FAVORITE.

The Heart and the Bottle – This is a beautiful book. It captures the heart of making “inner vows” in order to protect oneself. There once was a girl who was just like any other girl – full of wonder and delight in the world around her. Until her world was shattered, and that one safe person was gone. “Feeling unsure, the girl thought the best thing was to put her heart in a safe place.” So, she put it in a bottle that she kept safely around her neck. On first glance, it seemed to “fix things”, but she lost her wonder and delight. She forgot about the things that once brought her joy and she was now burdened by how “heavy and awkward the bottle had become, but at least her heart was safe.” She never realized anything might be “wrong” until she met a smaller girl who was filled with what was once a familiar sense of wonder. She realized she wanted to be free from the weight of the bottle but didn’t know how. She tried everything but to no avail. But the little girl, with her innocent ways, knew just how to retrieve her heart, putting it back right where it belonged. Wonder and delight filled her heart again – and the emptiness wasn’t so empty anymore. A FAVORITE.

I Remember Miss Perry – This story is told by a young boy named Stevie. Stevie was new to school mid-year and Miss Perry so perfectly attended to his needs and helped him find belonging in a strange place. Miss Perry was an amazing teacher, making memories with her students and allowing them to share in all her fondest wishes. One day, Miss Perry wasn’t in class when her students arrived. Later that afternoon, the students returned from lunch to find their parents all there. The principal told them that Miss Perry had died in a car accident on the way to school that morning. The counselor and principal were present in the classroom in the days ahead. “It’s okay to cry when someone you like very much has died.” The counselor asked the students to tell her about Miss Perry. All the students had something to share! “We told her that Miss Perry had a fondest wish every day. We took turns trying to remember them all. And we smiled at the memories.” She then asked “What do you think would be Miss Perry’s fondest wish today?” The beautiful memories shared filled up Miss Perry’s students that day.

Always Remember – This is a sweet picture book that draws from the memories of all those who knew Old Turtle. Each one had a different experience and memory of how he impacted their lives. And they realize that the end of his life is actually only the beginning – as his memory and legacy will live on in the stories told and the lives lived. Ages: 3-8.

Why Do I Feel So Sad?: A Grief Book for Children – I like this book because it talks about grief on many different topics – death, divorce, a move, loss of friends or another big change or loss. It explains how children and adults can grieve. Many feel sad, cry a lot, don’t smile as much, have a hard time doing what they used to do or liked to do. They may worry that the loss will happen again; you may want to talk or not talk. The author explains all the different ways grief feels (sad, angry, scared…) and how it affects your body. She normalizes it and gives suggestions on how to work through the emotions – talking, singing, drawing, creating a way to remember, writing… There are great resources and activities suggested at the back of the book; including how to talk to your children. Ages: 5-7.

A Terrible Thing Happened – This book is helpful for a child who lost someone is an accident or saw something terrible. It goes through the experience of what it feels like to have this cloud of emotions (emotions and fears that you want to ignore and run away from) and the experience of finding a counselor to help process through all the grief. Ms. Maple helped him first draw and then talk about hard things. She reminded Sherman that it was not his fault. “Sherman found that it felt good to let his feelings out. Feeling good helped Sherman feel stronger. When Sherman felt stronger, he did not feel so angry.” Great tips for parents and caregivers listed at the back of the book.

Chester Raccoon and the Acorn Full of Memories – A raccoon finds out his squirrel classmate had an accident and won’t be coming back to school. Chester doesn’t know what “died” means. Mother Raccoon gently relates what happened to an older animal – “his heart quit beating and his body didn’t work anymore.” Chester ponders his many questions and feels all jumbled inside. Mother suggests making a memory of his friend.

Find something that reminds you of _____________
What did he like?
What was his favorite place to play?

Before long, many other animals join in the quest to make a memory of their friend. Tell me a story… I love the beautiful idea of collecting stories and finding something to remember the friend by. Ages: 4-8.

Something Very Sad Happened, A Toddler’s Guide to Understanding Death – This is very practical guide to help a young child understand death. The text is highlighted to encourage the reader to replace the name with the loved one who had passed. In very simple words, it talks about death being sad, when a body stops working, a wrestling of emotions… It also talks about what you can do – talk about her, look at pictures and love _______ always. “Love cannot die.” This book includes a note to parents and caregivers – how to help, how to talk to them about death, answering questions and modeling healthy grieving, how to deal with funerals, remembering and moving forward. I feel like the tips in this are very comprehensive.

For Heaven’s Sake – This is a sweet book about a boy who is looking to understand heaven. Everyone gives him a different answer but none seem like the right answer. When Grandpa died, mom was too sad to answer his questions. Grandma, on the other hand, was glad to take him on “a trip” to find heaven. They went to the soup kitchen where Grandpa had served. They went to the library for story time and choir practice with Mr. Ling. Then they went home for blueberries and cream. “I think Isaiah, we can get close to heaven and to God in a place in our hearts. I feel there is a part of Grandpa in all the places and people we visited today, and a little bit of heaven, too.”

Always and Forever – A family of animals lived together and loved each other dearly. One day Fox got sick and grew sicker over time. One morning he went out and never returned. He was found cold and still underneath a large tree. His family carried him home and then buried him in his favorite place in the woods. Each animal reminisced about their favorite traits of their friend Fox. Their hearts ached and they stopped talking. Weeks or months later another animal friend stops by to inquire about their long absence. They laughed and remembered all the funny stories about Fox. In those memories they found a way to each carry on a part of Fox and feel the laughter and joy in bringing that forth. He would be a part of them always and forever.

Maybe Tomorrow – This is POWERFUL book about being kind and coming alongside someone in their weakness/pain/grieving. Elba has a big block that she never is without. It keeps her from going places because it is too heavy to carry. “(The big block) made her walk slowly. It made her think darkly. It was heavy.” Norris, on the other way, walked around in a “cloud of butterflies”. Even though Elba wasn’t ready to look inside her block and bring whatever it was out, Norris kept coming around. One day he wanted her to come to the ocean with him, but Elba couldn’t with her heavy block. Norris and his butterflies helped, even though it was a long way. After a long time of no talking, Elba spoke, “I miss Little Bird. She is gone.” Norris came alongside his friend with empathy, learning about the small friend. The block grew smaller as Norris stayed present with his friend and helped her let go of some of her grief. “I’ll always have this block, you know,” said Elba. “Yes, maybe you will,” said Norris. “But I will help you carry it sometimes.” A FAVORITE.

Dear Moon – Ely is sick, but he and best friend Max hatch a plan to slow down the moon and the day he has to go to the hospital. They work, they build, they create a masterpiece to lasso the moon. Max wants to do everything he can to rescue and protect his friend. The day finally arrives. Ely heads to the hospital. Max asks, “You want me to be afraid for you so you don’t have to?”

When Ely leaves, Max works even harder. He doesn’t want the moon to take his friend; he wants him to bring him back. Finally Max comes home. No hair. A motorized chair. ‘“I had a word with the moon. I told him to make sure you are okay.” Ely smiles. “I think I’ll be seeing him in person soon.”’

They work together, through hard days, to make a better plan. But one day, Ely makes it to the moon. Max cannot go with him. “Max puts on his favorite mask and cries the sadness out. It takes some time. Then he shoots a note to the moon. Dear Moon, I’ll be watching you.” This is a precious story.

Loss of a Parent

One Wave at a Time – [This is repeated from General Loss, as I didn’t want it to be missed it either section. This book could be used for the loss through suicide.] I LOVED this book! Kai shares the story of how once there were four and now there are three. His dad is gone. And his grief comes like waves at the sea. Often he hides under his bed during the waves. Other times they crash in anger or fear…or no waves at all, just flatness, like a robot. There are happy waves too. Kai and his family join a support group, a place where they can talk, play and share what they miss. These strangers become friends to help ride the waves. Kai creates a “grief first aid kit”, a memory box, and learns techniques to connect and be quiet. Mom, Kai and Ben find a chair that they paint for special days, a chair to remember Dad in. I love the ideas shared in this book. There is an author note included at the end, as well as grief support resources. A FAVORITE.

Saying Goodbye to Daddy – Clare loses her dad in a sudden car accident. This book goes through the whole process, from her being told, what it means to die and be buried and what would happen if suddenly Mom and Grandpa were also gone (real fears of a young one who loses a parent). Clare is given a chance to go to the wake, funeral and burial. Mom tells her all the details in order to give Clare the freedom to process and move at her own pace. It does talk about heaven but Grandfather does not answer that heaven is a real place, but rather what some people believe (maybe to make this book accessible to a larger audience) – but a good opportunity to tell your child what you DO believe to be true. Grandfather does talk about how Dad’s memory will live on who those who loved him. This book is clear that death means a body doesn’t work anymore, not that he has simply gone to sleep. This is a beautiful book and could help a young child process through the whole journey. It talks about the days and weeks after the burial – and the ways they grieve, find solace in one another and even joy in the memories. Clare finds a way to still stay connected to her father. A FAVORITE.

The Scar – Oh, my heart. This sweet little boy wakes up to find that his mother has died. He wasn’t there when she died. As he processes her death and the desperate need to care for the sad adults around him, he does all he can to not lose the memory of her. He keeps windows closed so he doesn’t lose her smell, he plugs his ears to hear her voice. Then, when he falls and scrapes his knee, he wants to keep the wound bleeding, as if it will help him hold onto her voice and memory. He finally loses it when Grandma opens the windows, fearful that she will now be gone forever. Grandma pulls him close and speaks gently, “She’s there in your heart, and she’s not going anywhere.” This gives him the freedom to breathe again and he “finds her” whenever he feels his heartbeat. Ages: 5-9. A FAVORITE.

After Charlotte’s Mom Died – This is an excellent book that reminds all of us that feelings should not be squelched down and “just put on a smile” as if someone that will make it all better. Charlotte’s mom died in an accident. This is a book that reminds parents and loved ones to help a child process their loss, as well as help them to feel hope – that that will not always feel sad and that happiness “was not buried with the dead”. When poor behavior becomes an issue at school, Dad realizes that Charlotte is struggling with grief just like he is. They decide to go and see a therapist. Anna helps Charlotte process through her bad dreams and fears, as well as meaningful words from others that stirred up anxiety rather than comfort. She is also reminded that even if something were to happen to Dad (fear of being an orphan) that there was family who would love and care for her. Together Dad and Charlotte worked with Anna to find wishes that could come true and hope for happiness once again. A FAVORITE.

Samantha Jane’s Missing Smile – Samantha lost her father. She hasn’t smiled much since. She’s sad, quiet and tries not to cry. She doesn’t want to do things that might make her cry. Her neighbor Mrs. Cooper helps her realize that “crying can be a very good way to wash some of your sad feelings out, so there more room for happy feelings to get in.” Samantha Jane is still afraid that if she starts crying, she may not stop. Mrs. Cooper helps give understanding to her young friend’s feelings. She relates it to pushing a twig under water. Even after you push those sad feelings down, they will still rise up again. Mrs. Cooper validates Samantha Jane’s feelings. She helps her find things around her that remind her of her dad and memories with him. She helps her see the ways (through the memories) of how he’ll always be with her.

Sometimes children think that being happy again will somehow nullify their love for the one they lost. “You knew him pretty well. Do you think he would have wanted you to be sad all the time?” Mrs. Cooper helps Samantha Jane write a letter to her dad. This book even addresses the young child’s fear of making her surviving parent sad by talking about her own sad feelings. This book has GREAT tips at the end for parents. Ages: 4-8. A FAVORITE.

The Memory String – Laura’s mom is gone and dad is now remarried to Jane. It hurts to hear them happy. Laura has a memory necklace made of buttons. The buttons go back to her great-grandmother. Every button tells a story. Many of the buttons hold memories of mom – her wedding dress…and the button from her nightgown on the day she died. Dad had saved it for her. Then Whiskers the cat paws at the necklace and all the buttons go flying. Dad, Jane and Laura find all of them, but Mom’s favorite one – the one from Dad’s uniform. Dad suggest to his wife that he just get another button from the uniform in the attic. Jane replies, “Those are true moments on that string. You can’t cheat Laura like that…Laura would rather have that button missing than have a replacement…It’s like a mother. No substitute allowed.” Janes goes out in the dark and finds the missing button and doesn’t think it would be well-received from her, so simply leaves in on the porch. Laura heard and saw the whole thing and it softens her heart. She sees a beautiful button on Jane’s painting shirt and thinks one day she might ask to include that on her necklace. She also asks for her help to restring it. This is a heart-warming story. A FAVORITE.

The Pond – Dad wanted a beautiful pond for his family. He talked about it constantly. But Dad never got to see the ducks and tadpoles… “He died and left a muddy, messy hole that filled our hearts.” But one day a duck came and sat and splashed in that hole. His daughter went out to fill it for the duck, but then the edge broke, leaving a greater mess than before. Mom said she would fill that hole so that no one would every know there was supposed to be a pond. This broke the child. She ran to her room and screamed and cried in her anguish. Life went on. Then one afternoon she came home to find a pond ready for filling. At first, it was just a hole filled with water. But over time in changed, life filled it and Dad’s dream came to life. This is a breath-taking book – filled with wonder and beauty! A FAVORITE.

The Boy and the Gorilla – After a little boy’s mother dies, he finds comfort in the companionship of wise, compassionate gorilla he conjures up. It creates time and space for him to process through thoughts and questions he hesitates to talk to his father about. The wise gorilla has a way of communicating about loss that may make it more accessible for the young child to process. You are reading someone else’s story, rather than (in that particular moment of reading) living your own. When the young boy is ready, he is then able to come to his father and grieve and remember. At this point, the gorilla’s presence is no longer needed. [I believe this book is helpful for more than just a loss of a parent.] Ages: 4-8.

Her Mother’s Face – This is the story of a ten-year-old girl who lost her mother when she was three. It’s just her and her dad. They is never any talk about mom, the loss…no pictures anywhere of her. Her dad doesn’t know what to do when Siobhan wants to talk about her mom. His response leaves no room for conversation of processing her feelings. So, no one knows how sad she is – not her friends, not her dad. She was so sad she couldn’t remember what her mom looked like. The story includes a “visit” from a stranger who addresses her struggle and fears. She tells her to look in the mirror to be reminded what her mom looked like at the same age.

This is a sweet story to help one remember that it’s the silence that hurts most, not the stories or the memories. Those are beautiful – and can bring laughter and smiles back to life. This is what happens with her father later in life. Ages 4-8.

Boats for Papa – SO sweet! Buckley misses his papa (as did his mama). He loves the beach and he loves to make things – his favorite being boats made out of driftwood. One day he decides to send a boat to papa on the ocean, with a note attached, “For Papa. Love, Buckley.” On special days he repeats this, only sending out his very best. On one such day, he realizes he had forgotten to attach and note and runs back home to write one. When he opens his mother’s desk to find some paper, he finds all the wooden boats he had sent out to sea. He returns to the beach and his mother, attaches a note, and slips it into the water. At home he thanks his mama for a wonderful day. After bedtime Mama goes back out to the beach and retrieves the newest boat wrapped up in the kelp. This time the note read, “For Mama. Love, Buckley.” A beautiful book wrapped up in loss and love.

Missing Mommy– A young child knows they said goodbye to his mama some time ago, but he still looks for her. He sees things of hers she forgot to take with her, including the flowers they leave for her. He feels scared, angry, worries that he was bad. Daddy “said that when someone has died they cannot come back because their body doesn’t work anymore.” But they are still a family, still can laugh, have others to help care for them. But they will always remember. “I know how special I was to my mommy and she will always be special to me.”

Loss of a Grandparent

Grandpa’s Top Threes – it’s hard to hold back the tears on this one! Grandpa and Henry are both mourning the loss of Grandma. Grandpa needs time and would rather be quiet and aloof. Henry wants his grandpa. Connections are made finally when he asks what are his top three sandwiches. Finally, Henry has something to do. The connections continue in the days ahead – top three animals… Then it comes to grandma. A beautiful story of connection and basking in sweet memories. Ages: 2-6. A FAVORITE.

Olivia Says Goodbye to Grandpa – Oliva loved her Grandpa! But one day he had to go to the hospital and Olivia got to visit, tell stories and promised to draw him a picture. A few days later he passed away in his sleep. She was so sad, and seeing Mom sad made her even sadder! She was afraid she would never be happy again! “Grandpa loved you very much. He would understand your sadness, but he would want you to remember all the times you laughed together, too.” She was afraid of someone else dying. “I can understand your fear, but our time and energy need to go toward living our lives to the fullest. We must treat each day as special. Your grandpa certainly did that.” There is a list of helpful tips to help a children with bereavement at the end of the book. A FAVORITE.

Stones for Grandpa – This is a lovely book of a Jewish family and their first year after the death of their grandpa. It’s a year full of firsts. “But Mommy told me that whenever we feel sad, we should remember Grandpa laughing. I do that now and it helps.” It shares about his memory box of Grandpa (what a beautiful idea) but that the most beautiful memories cannot be held in a box. The book also shares this beautiful act of placing stones upon one’s grave (this was a year later when the grave marker was first revealed) that are symbolic of each one’s memories of the one lost. I could see this book leading to making a memory box OR making/sharing memory/memorial stones. Ages: 5-9. A FAVORITE.

Grandpa’s Stories – This is a precious story as a little girl remembers the all the beauty and life her precious grandpa deposited into her life. She remembers the seasons and experiences and how she would take each of those to make the world a better place. At the end, she decides to make use of a notebook he made just for her – and write all the stories he told her or shared with her. The pictures in this book are beautiful and you feel the joy jumping off the page as this sweet girl remembers. Ages: 4-8. A FAVORITE.

Papa’s New Home – Jessie was Papa’s little girl (he was her grandpa). He was with her from the beginning and he adored her! One day, when she was 3, Grandpa was so sick he had to go the hospital. She hoped he would be home soon, but he died and went to live in a new place – heaven. She didn’t understand what they were talking about; she just wanted her Papa! When Jessie went to sleep that night, she had a dream about Papa. He told her, “People are the same as plants. Animals, too. Our bodies aren’t meant to live forever. They eventually get old or sick or hurt, and they stop working. But our spirits – our spirits never die. She wants to see heaven so badly that he takes her to see it. He shows her his job – taking care of the flowers – and tells her how “your favorite thing to do on earth becomes your job in Heaven!” Everything has a song and nothing is like what we could dream. The music was so beautiful it made Jessie cry. Grandpa’s dogs were in heaven. So were family that had gone before. This is a beautiful, comforting book for a child! A FAVORITE.

Blackberry Stew – Everyone is all dressed up and ready to go up the hill for Grandpa Jack’s funeral, but Hope wasn’t ready. Aunt Poogee allows her to stay back with her while she finishes up Jack’s favorite blackberry stew. Hope was afraid to say goodbye for it would mean she would never see Grandpa Jack again. Aunt Poogee closes her eyes and tells Hope all the ways she still sees Jack. Then they reminisce about a favorite memory of picking blackberries last summer and how Grandpa passed his strength and courage to Hope when he helped her pet a snake in their path. With her great aunt’s help, Hope was able to see Grandpa Jack in her mind’s eye. She was able to remember Grandpa Jack’s bravery and that helped her to be brave to join the family for the funeral. Recipe for Blackberry Stew is at the back of the book.

Saturdays Are for Stella – Some of George’s favorite days are Saturdays with his Grandma Stella. They hold adventure and memories like no one else. But one day, a day he is supposed to be with his Stella, she is gone. From that day on, Saturdays are dreaded. All the things he used to do with Stella now make him sad, mad and cry. This book chronicles the journey of Saturdays becoming a joy once again – weeks and months later – when a baby sister comes home, named Stella. No longer does he have time to be sad on Saturdays. His favorite things about Grandma Stella, in time, become his favorite things about his sweet sister. Ages: 4-8.

Birds of a Feather – This is sweet little boy’s story about a wonderful relationship he has with his Pop – they are “birds of a feather”. Pop lived in the country, he lived in the city but they spent plenty of time together. One day he finds out he has died. They go for the funeral and he sees him in the coffin. “…It was just a broken thing full of stuff that didn’t work. Inside the long box with all the flowers it was kind of like that.” He wasn’t glad that Pop was in heaven; but he didn’t tell his mom that, because she was so sad herself. One day he was so angry she stomped all over her mom’s flowers and then lied about it. The seasons change; he find happiness again. He and mom prepare to plant flowers, flowers that Pop would have liked. “I was glad I hadn’t said goodbye to Pop because now it felt just like he was there with me, even if he wasn’t really.”

Grandma’s Gloves – A story about a young girl and the special relationship she has with her grandma. Grandma has all the best smells and she can grow anything! One day Grandma ends up in the hospital. She doesn’t smell the same and doesn’t remember. She thinks Mom is her hairdresser and only speaks in her native language. And then the calls comes that she is gone. People come with food and to help pack up grandma’s things. But no one remembers Grandma’s plants. This young girl decides she will carry on grandma’s legacy – and now teach mom everything she knows (all that she learned while being with grandma).

Fireflies, Peach Pies and Lullabies – Great-Granny Annabel has lost her memory. “it’s like she’s nothing but an empty shell nowadays.” Francie overhears all this and sits confused in her thoughts. That’s not how she sees Great-Granny. “Worst part is, this is how everyone will remember her…All the good thoughts gone, like an ocean wave just whooshed in and washed all the memories away.” Francie is trying to reconcile everything, when suddenly Great Granny is gone. Grief, anger… Francie curled up Great-Granny’s things, falls asleep and dreams all the wonderful things she remembered about her.

At the viewing, she watched people cry. She watched them laugh. “Were they remembering different too?” Then, a sudden idea came to her. She borrowed paper and a pen and went around to the guests, asking them to write down a favorite memory. It made her feel are “summery-warm.” The next day at the funeral, the priest took Francie’s list and “read the memories one by one…Soon the church was buzzing like a hive full of bees while sweet golden memories spilled over the pews and into the aisles.”

This book will fill your heart. And offers a great opportunity to share “your own” precious memories of your lost loved one.

A Stopwatch from Grampa – A sweet book about a little boy who is given his grandpa’s stopwatch. They used to count time on everything. He is angry and sad. Then one day he finds the stopwatch buried in his drawer and wants to start remembering again.

Loss of a Pet

The Rough Patch – I love this book and it would be helpful for one who is grieving deeply, and not just in the loss of a pet. Evan (the fox) and his dog are inseparable. They did everything together! One day he woke up to find his best friend dead. Nothing was the same. He was lonely and isolated. He was angry and destroyed things. His garden became overgrown and he didn’t care. In fact he made his garden a place of desolation rather than it’s once happiness. And that it became. He did allow one rogue plant to grow. As it grew, he began to feel a familiar excitement. And on fair week he drove a prize pumpkin to town. He was with friends again and although not quite the same, it did feel good. He won third place. In the end he was finally in a place to take a new puppy home to love. A FAVORITE.

Sammy in the Sky – This book made me cry – the love of a sweet boy and his favorite hound. Sammy was always there for him! One day Dad find a lump on his back and they realize there was nothing they could do to help him. “When he leaves, his body will be like an empty shell, but his spirit will be everywhere – in the clouds, the fields, and the woods. All the good things about Sammy like his love for you, will be yours to keep forever.” They do sweet things together in his last days. One day they know the time is close and sit with him until he passes. Time passes until his heart stops hurting when he thinks of Sammy. They celebrate, blow bubbles at his favorite field and tell stories. A FAVORITE.

Saying Goodbye to Lulu – This is a sweet book about a young girl watching her dog getting older and all the changes that means. She talks about all the ways she was able to help Lulu when she couldn’t… She grieves the loss of what Lulu once was and share all her memories. And one day Lulu was gone. Mommy took her to say goodbye. They buried Lulu in the yard. She missed her every day! One day she gets a new puppy and thinks about all the things she will do with her puppy, just as she did with Lulu. [This could be read before your pet dies, as a way to help prepare your children. Read it on your own first, to determine if it would help your children.] A FAVORITE.

The Invisible Leash – This is by the same author of The Invisible String, so you know I loved this one as well. Zack loses his best friend, his dog. They did everything together and now nothing is the same. His friends Emily relays her own story of loss and uses the analogy of “the invisible leash”. It helps “connects our hearts to each other forever” (even if the animal was never leashed such as a bird or cat). This book does not acknowledge heaven but “way to the beyond”. “Grandpa says…we’d spend the rest of our lives learning that we feel the most important and truest things in our hearts, and don’t need to see them with our eyes. That’s what it means to believe.” There are opportunities to talk about heaven and faith. This book offers sweet opportunities to connect to sweet memories with our pets. Ages: 4-8 years. A FAVORITE.

Where Lily Isn’t – This is a sweet book about a young girl who loses her dog. It articulates all those spaces and places where the loss is felt – but then finds a place to remember all those wonderful things in her heart and in her drawings.

Benny and Penny in How to Say Goodbye – When playing in dead leaves, Penny finds her precious lizard dead. It is a process of Penny grieving deeply and Benny being angry. A new friend comes out to help Penny find a safe place to grieve and bury her lizard. Through it she is allowed gentleness and tenderness from her friend while Benny is angry and isolates. Penny and her friend remember the good times, and then Benny realizes how much sadness he also feels. He realizes regret. Together the three animals collect things the little lizard loved to bury with him. In the end a smaller lizard appears, and they find hope and excitement for a new friend all while saying goodbye to an old one.

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney – This is the story of a little girl whose cat dies. It shares her progression of emotions. They plant seeds over where Barney is buried and dad talks about he will change until he’s part of the garden – “a nice job for a cat” – and will helps the flowers to grow.

Disclaimer: On page 14 Dad says we can’t be sure if heaven is real. If you have a non-reader you can skip over this. I do like this book but would never want to plant a seed of doubt about heaven. (This is not a theological discussion over whether animals go to heaven, but simply about words of doubt spoken about heaven.) Ages: 6-9 years.

Harry & Hopper – This is a book about a young boy who comes home from school to find his dog not waiting for him at the gate. Dad explains there was an accident and that Hopper is dead. He asks if Harry would like to say good-bye and help bury him. In the days ahead, nothing is the same and Harry wants to completely avoid the subject and just get back to normal. But then one night, Hopper comes to visit him in his dreams. They “play together” for a few nights, until Hopper slows down and is weak – Harry is finally able to say good-bye. Ages: 2-5.

Goodbye Mousie – A little boy wakes up to find that Mousie won’t wake up. Mousie had died. The little boy is sad and MAD. There is no particular reason that Mousie died, but he was old for a mouse and did live a good life. The little boy and his parents walk through the process of burying him in the yard. The little boy makes a sign so he will know where Mousie is buried, and puts all his favorite things in a box with him. He even paints the box so it will look nice.

The Heaven of Animals – This goes with assumption that your animals have gone to heaven – if this is your belief, this book is sweet and comforting. The illustrations are delightful.

The Berenstain Bears Lose a Friend – Sister Bear loves her fish Goldie. She took responsibility for her – feeding her, cleaning her bowl, accessorizing her bowl with rocks and a castle. Twice a day she was at the side of Goldie’s bowl. One day Mama Bear found Goldie dead and they decided to swap out and put a new fish in, hoping Sister wouldn’t notice. But she did. She did NOT appreciate being fooled. Fortuntely Mama had kept Goldie in a special place. Sister Bear gave her fish a proper burial.

My Pig Amarillo – Grandpa gives Pablito a special gift – a tiny pig. Amarillo becomes his best friend; they do everything together! One day Amarillo goes missing. Pablito cannot find him anywhere. His heart is broken. Grandpa says he must be with the angels in the sky and that they can send him a message on All Saint’s Day, with a kite. Again, not a theological debate, and not an argument for All Saints’ Day – but I do believe it helps some kids with closure, to be able to “say what they want” and goodbye to their lost loved one. For my children, we sent a balloon up (not on 11/1). We asked that God would get a message to their grandma, and they were able to say goodbye and that they loved her – they were 3 and 5 at the time. This book could facilitate a similar comfort to what we experienced in our home.

Bear Island – Louise and her family lose their family dog, Charlie. As Louise grieves and processes her loss, she pays many visit to the island she and Charlie used to visit. On that island, she encounters a surprise bear. Fear, anger, sadness – they soon find familiarity in their emotions. “Some days, only Louise was better. Some days, only Bear was better.” Together and as they days passed, they were changing for the better. And it affected change for the better at home. One morning Bear was missing, preparing to sleep for the winter. Louise finds acceptance and peace. “Sometimes the end…is also a beginning” (a new puppy).